Guilt


1963 Our beloved Prime Minister Shri Jawaharlal Nehru was very jubilant about the Indo-Chinese relationships. Next year we have a war with them. Nehruji who couldn’t bear the emotional tension died the following year, a stroke they say, suffocation from guilt, I believe.

Though the medical dictionary doesn’t allow me to, but I comprehend guilt as a disease. It is not communicable, but can certainly affect the best. It’s often smudged with regret of an action or inaction. We have all felt guilt at one time or other, whether it’s for something as small as not throwing a wrapper in the bin to regretting hurting your loved ones. We have all regretted our decisions in all parts of our lives. We have all pined for a second chance with history. We have all been at a point, where in deep thought, we stumble upon the fact that we hate the present.

Though we have the general perception of feelings like guilt being related to stress, I beg to differ. Guilt my friend can fuel some while burn others.

The death of Brutus, the change in Asoka, the epic of Ramayana were all stimulated by guilt.

As I said guilt can affect the strongest of personalities .We notice the great maestro Sachin Tendulkar have moistened eyes every time he reminisce the 98 Chennai test. The guilt of not pulling the team through, the guilt for which he was blamed of not being a finisher. Guilt is something internal. It cannot be fooled by excuses. It doesn’t care if you were injured, it doesn’t care that you were five wickets down it doesn’t care that you got a century. All it cares is to instigate a brain enough to create magic for another decade. All it did was to drive someone to divinity.

I am a person obsessed with cricket, so I’ll tell you about another great. Saurav ganguly. I have never seen a better cut, or a more belligerent spin batsman. Yet he was denied the chance to retire with grace. At his age he didn’t go down, he came back with vengeance, he retired a man with respect he retired a man free of guilt.

My friends, Sachin is human. And so are we.

It confuses me to see people getting bogged down by guilt. Either guilt of an unfinished commitment, or of a dark history. What we never try to understand is that it hinders our growth. Moreover it is not something irreversible, we can always go back and make it happen the way we want it to be. There is no limit of success, no limit of power.

The guilt of a lie. Call me Gandhi for I can never deal with it. It is easier to tell the truth than to have a sword pecking you at nights.

The guilt of an unfinished business. Friends, we all need to understand that everyone has a limit. We all believe we deserve something more but if that was the case we wouldn’t be longing for it. We would either get it or work towards making sure to get it. It is not about making it big. It’s about how you lie down the bricks to eventually make it big.

The guilt of doing someone wrong. Humans should be selfish as long as they are free of guilt. Even terrorism needs the parasol of religion to avoid guilt. I wouldn’t ask you to be perfect humans but will tell you one thing if there’s nothing that bothers you more than what you did, it is time you search for the answer to how to reverse it. Sometimes it’s just an apology that works. Sometimes it demands more.

We can live with insaneness, we can live without love, but something that eats us from inside everyday is fatally futile.

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